Heaviness

She doesn’t act cute, but she is always cute when there is even no sign of emotion on her face. The cute and small girls seem to belong to another creature. She was like a smoke. It looks like she is there so I stretch my hand to touch it but it is not there. There is nothing. It is hard to figure out what she really is. A liar or a monster would be the words to describe her. My heart gets heavy just by thinking of her. When I happen to talk about her, I become a burden to myself. I make myself tired. I’ve been trying to forget her for way too long time. I’ve been suffering from her traces left on my eyes of view top side. I tortured myself. It feels to me that I can still see her. Just a feeling. Her voice would reach me in a blink of eyes. I used to find myself lying on my bed every night, hugging her figure which is non-existent, waiting for the phone to ring.┬áBut now I know how to stop myself right before where I feel myself heavy.

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