Loneliness

Andy is sitting in his room alone. It’s around 5pm. The orange color of sunset draws the square figure on the wall through blinds. He is scribbling in the white empty paper meaninglessly. He doesn’t know what he is writing. He is listening to music that he has listened before. He is listening in very low volume. Then he turned it off. He muttered something to himself. He picked up his phone and said,
‘Please stay with me. I love you.’
Nothing answered back from the phone. He kept holding the phone on his ear waiting for the reply. There is no sound from the phone. He put down the phone and stared outside the window. He thought,
‘I’ve been so tired. Maybe I should end it here. I think I need some rest. I can take a rest now.’
It seemed to him that he has not had this time for a while. He has been running for his life looking for something. But now it felt like he lost everything. He did not understand why he was feeling lonely at first.
‘Maybe I’m missing someone. Yeah in fact, I’m missing her.’
He felt like he needs time only for himself.
‘I need time to be lonely. I need time to smile to myself. I need time to cry myself.’
He felt sadness for having the feeling as if it was hidden in his deep mind for a long time.
‘I have to go back to beginning of everything and start again. I have to organize myself again.’
He muttered to himself.
“Yeah. I need loneliness in my life.’

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