I disappointed too many people. They gave me trust and love. I could not give them trust and love back. It was easy to make them start to love me. It was hard for me to love them back. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t confident. I could not devote myself to them. But my desire that I want to be loved never left me. I sometimes feel that no one has ever loved me from my childhood. I was afraid of me disappointing people. I was afraid of them betraying me. I was afraid that I might believe their lies. My voice got quieter and quieter. I just showed smiley face because I did not want to look like aggressive or indifferent person at least. I was scared to go deeper inside of their mind because it might make me important person to them. Someone told me that I should be more open-minded. Maybe I should have opened my mind.
Every day I think of her who I used to one-sided love when I was teenager. I barely talked with her in school. Once or twice. I just feel like I still love her. Or I might just want to believe I do. I might have loved her from there all my life. I want to believe that all the scattered and broken pieces will be put together if only I can feel true love. I’ve seen her many times only in my dreams. I want to meet her in real again. The time may come eventually. Until then, sadness is my best friend. Someone said sadness is only pure beautifulness. Maybe I just want to believe it.
I’m not center of Feelimn online gallery. I’m not an important part. Feelimn don’t exist without artists and their artworks. No one seems to be interested in Feelimn now. Artists might be truly busy to find job and money. Feelimn is online gallery where artists upload their artworks, and patrons support their art making monetarily. I created it for the artists. They don’t have to pay money to upload their artworks. I started this idea because I loved to feel emotions like everyone does. As I write down the emotional scenes that artists can refer to, I’m happy that I can be a center in my blog with my writings.
But I began to think I may be wrong. I’m not professional art dealer. I don’t know how artists think of online gallery. Artists would have their own reason to draw and paint. They need to earn money by selling their artworks. No one would want to draw for others for free. If I’m an artists, would I want to draw someone else’s world for him? I’m not sure. I don’t have money to commission them to draw what I want. My writings are abstract and specific at the same time. Who should artists draw from that situation? I think I’m requesting too much.
I love to write emotional moments and scenes. It is like short stories. I get out of my reality and go into imaginary situations. I should focus on people and situation to describe small details. I love to catch and write it down. It is sometimes personal or general, and sometimes it is my fantasy of wishes. Or it is regret and jealousy. I get the ideas from many things. As I make scene, I like to substitute girl in the situation wishing to attract her into my life. Also I like seeing the happenings such as behaviors, gestures, talking, looking, and facial expressions. After all, the facial expression is the key which is derived from powerful emotion. The situation that people would nod their heads because they get to understand the emotion itself. I don’t have many friends, so I don’t interact with people well. People could say that I have a problem in making relationship with them. So it might be the reason why I like to write these emotional moments which I can rarely find in real life.
As I keep writing and try harder, I’ve come to think of Feelimn more than before. I kind of lose the purpose or identity of why I do this since there are no artists who are willing to upload artworks in Feelimn. There are endless moments. I have a passion. But I’m not sure where I’m going. I won’t give up on writing. I think it will be just less frequent. I genuinely appreciate everyone who reads my posts. Thank you.
I sent invitation email to 500 artists in online. More precisely, they are illustrators and painters. I found them in Ello and Behance websites. These websites are artists network. About 10% of artists showed me positive responses that they will exhibit their artworks on Feelimn. They promised me but they disappeared. I cannot communicate with them anymore. About 2% blamed my email strategy and idea. It’s not a big number of responses but it actually hurts the most. About 10% asked me what the website is about. I replied them as best as I can with detailed explanation, but only 2 or 3 artists replied me back again. Rest is no reply. It seems artists receive a lot of emails like mine.
Among them, I had the longer conversation with Eric than any other artist. He is the first and only artist who exhibited his artworks in Feelimn. I really appreciate that he believed me. It really made me happy. You can see his artwork here. His style is very unique that makes you look into his works more carefully to get to know more about it. I wish more people could come to see his artworks.
There are emotion categories of joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, circumstantial, and a blend of 2 or more. I expect to see artworks of describing certain emotion. It can be any moment in the world. It’s hard for me to understand how artists create their artworks since I’m not an artist. So I may be requesting wrong thing. But I don’t give up finding artists. If you want to get to know more about Feelimn, please let me know.
I write to give ideas and suggestions to artists. I mean the painters who actually paint with their own hands. I get the ideas of scenes from my experience and imagination. There is a meaning in each emotion in certain situation itself. People want to know it. They like it. There is Feelimn online gallery. I wish that painters know what I expect from them in Feelimn. No pressure on them though.
There is a painter. He always loved painting from his childhood. When he became 20 years old, he told his father that he wanted to be a painter. His father opposed his decision, and did not try to listen to him. His father said if he wants to be a painter, he will have to leave the home. So he left. He could rent a small apartment with his savings. Then he doesn’t have any money. He started part-time jobs in restaurant and store to keep on painting. His passion never run away. He published his paintings, but no one cared in the beginning.
His first painting is submitted to auction house. Anonymous buyer bought his painting with $30,000. He was surprised and happy that someone recognized the value of his artworks. He wanted to know who the buyer is, but he could not find him. This was spread to all buyers and they got interested in his paintings. More people tried to buy his paintings as well believing it has something.
People look good when they are concentrating on work. Whatever the works are, there is true passion when you look them carefully. Capture the image of them and paint it into a permanent moment. Painters make people shine brighter.
Why is art so expensive? Who decide the price? Art dealers? Gallery owners? Or Artists themselves? When we talk about artistic value, one piece of art could mean a lot to someone and nothing to others. The price of artworks not only get affected by artist’s reputation, but also size, condition, and prices of similar pieces. Importantly, supply and demand strictly apply in pricing. If the artists no longer live, value of scarcity rise higher. Buying art is now considered as an investment, instead of true passion for the art. Many physical galleries are closing because they can’t keep the finances sustainable. On the other hand, rich people increase the prices of artworks, pushing up few big galleries and few big auction houses. With this situation being made, young and potential artists do not get many opportunities to be seen.
Art industry has become a game only for rich people. I believe that artworks and professional artists should be valued with money. But it doesn’t have to be by buyers. Many growing artists want to showcase their artworks to reach out few buyers. However, if numerous number of patrons can build the value of artists’ price together, it will be a big impact that change art industry. What artworks deserve to be the highest price? The artworks containing real value will be newly recognized to the world. Artists can exhibit their artworks in Feelimn online gallery, and patrons can give patronages to the artworks. Find artworks that you love in each emotion categories. Feel the artworks artists captured in their adventures.
If you want to know more about Feelimn, contact me here: email@example.com
Patron is a person who gives financial support in activity. I acknowledge massive efforts of artists to create painting. They have a species of fear that their fates are in their own hands, but that their hands are weak. Making art reveals artists themselves in every work between what they think they should be, and what they fear they might be. If they even think artworks should be perfect, they won’t tolerate making mistakes which they become convinced that they cannot make perfect artwork. As mistakes go on, they will quit. Audiences enjoy the finished product, and they don’t have much interest in the process. Some artists can sell their artworks, but most artist can’t sell it. Numerous number of artists send their artworks to art agency to sell it. I wonder how many artworks will be chosen to get a chance to sell it.
Many young artists are striving to find the way to earn money with their skills. I want to give artists the chance to find a patron who financially support their art making in Feelimn online gallery. Artists should be a hunter to find the subject to give the entertaining inspiration to their patrons. As time goes by, more people will contribute to building value of artworks with patronages. Artists will create artworks that deserve to be recognized by the world. People will decide it. Patrons can leave their name on each artwork’s rank of patronage. Rich people might give big patronage on artwork if they believe it deserves it, or for a reason. Will you be an artist, painter, illustrator who patrons are proud of you?
When I invite artists to my website through email, they reply me back with similar responses. They say “It’s a very interesting project. I will think how to collaborate with it”. I really appreciate their replies. I’m happy waiting for their artworks to be displayed in Feelimn online gallery soon because I know they will choose Feelimn. It is opportunity for them to reach out potential patrons who would support their art making. Each patronage will be divided to 85:15, which 85% go for the artists. And 15% go for gallery.
When an artist called Feelimn as a place of reference, I thought it is just right word to describe the characteristic of Feelimn. Whatever artists choose categories out of 8 options such as joy, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, surprise, circumstantial, and a blend of 2 or more, it will be a moment. It is not a news broadcast, but recording of important moments to someone, or even more people. Our imagination capture much bigger images than what camera does. We will be able to see what artists saw. The reason why that moment was captured doesn’t have to be heavy because we appreciate the artwork itself just like watching movie. We want to enjoy the artworks, and imagine the people and situation with curiousity. Thomas Eakins painted the doctor who is in the middle of surgery. It is called “The Gross Clinic”. Many young medical students would have dreamed of becoming a doctor like him after watching this painting.
What do you hunt? Where are your eyes headed? Catching emotional moments is what hunters do in Feelimn. For example, you can find frustrated face of pitcher who is looking at the ball flying to home-run fence. He is more worried when it is more important game. Or when you get into fight with your lover, you can find desperate anger or fear in his/her face. These won’t go away from your memory quickly that could hurt you for a period of time.
I got the impression that painter is a hunter, from famous painting “Girl with a Pearl Earring” by Johannes Vermeer. People will receive different feeling from it, but I would like to tell you my thoughts. A girl on the painting turned around to look at where she heard familiar and warm voice which is from painter. I believe this facial expression is remembered and painted by Johannes Vermeer. He caught the moment that contain emotion. It provokes vivid imagination that will provide source for our dream. I believe we get inspiration consciously or unconsciously in pursuing our own goal in reality. Only feelings leave in our memory whether it’s from past or dream at night. Recognizing feeling itself would give direction as we continue on living our world. Paintings based on emotional moments are being created by hunters. Would you like to join on these hunters adventure in Feelimn online gallery?