You are an angel. The angel who is looking at my eyes of shame and saying it’s fine, is you. Do I deserve to be with an angel who hugs and soothes me with angelic smile on face? My firmly closed heart even impresses me. However, have I ever relied on someone like this before? I can’t take my eyes off you because I have to see your smile. It seems I can feel your smile. There won’t be a woman like you in the world. No, never. It’s because I have lived my whole life for this moment to be with you. Your beautiful and warm heart was waiting to be found. It took quite a long time for me to finally see you. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for believing me. I will protect your world forever.
He said, “I need to tell you something. You are so pretty. I want to spend the night with you. I know you are not like other girls. You are different and special. I have never said this to any other girls, but I want to have sex with you.”
He grabbed her hand and said, “Let’s go.”
She follows him.
“Were you and him just friends or..?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m just curious. Did you make out with him? Like more than just friends?”
He noticed her face getting stiff and serious.
“Just friend,” she replied.
A shy but smart and dedicated little engineering girl. I like your smile and tail-colored hair. But your eyes are unforgettable. The sincerity of your words and considerate manner of your obscured pretending touch my heart and remain in it for a long time. If only I could be that person to someone. My apathy. My awkwardness that I have been living with. My old wish. The place that I have left open. Refreshing rain pouring on my dried heart by the cloud in hot summer sky. I want to become everything in the world for you. Just being with you like today is a huge pleasure that I can’t express. I wonder if you know that. We are young, but are we running out of time. We are slowly opening heart to each other. Our story is not over yet. Sad things look beautiful. In this endless meeting of people, madly I ended up meeting you in this foreign land. Let’s go on a journey to the star of splendor.
“I can give up everything if I can meet her again. I give up my everything.”
He asked, “You don’t know if she will love you back. Is it still fine for you?”
“It’s fine. I just want to say what I should have said before. I have regretted so much for not telling her. I need to tell her that I love her. It doesn’t matter even though she doesn’t love me.”
He said with serene grin on his shadowy face, “I will send you where she is.”
After a blink of eyes, he was in somewhere he doesn’t recognize anything around him. Then he found her standing on the street. She seemed to be looking for something. And she checked her phone. He rushed to her with his eyes fixed on her. When she found him rushing to her, she flinched little. He stopped in front of her panting hard. She looked at him with surprise. He barely opened his mouth.
“Hi it’s me, Ray. I wanted to tell you something.” His voice is now confident with a strong conviction. He was feeling himself that he was getting more desperate to tell her what he wanted to say. He was still breathing a bit due to rush.
“I love you. I love you with all my heart.”
He felt relief.
She said see you later and have a good day. They both waved their hands to each other. She walks away. He stands still and watches her leave. Turn around and look at me. Turn around. Turn around. He keeps saying it. But she doesn’t turn around. She keeps walking. Maybe she is not interested in me. He thinks. He walks away.
It’s rainy night on the street. The music sound from somewhere. No more white shining smile of you. Rain erase our memory of all love. Although time passed, I hate to show my loneliness which is still with me. As I stand alone on this dark street, I look at the emptiness of your figure of my own world. The reflection of my shabby shape on the glass. I think of the love again that we couldn’t achieve. The blurred vision in my eyes by the rain. The fog surrounding your cold smile. I’d like to forget you when this night pass.
It is coming close to him. He has been waiting for that meeting with both expectation and anxiety for years. The question which was never answered started to crawl to his skin again. Is he prepared for it? He can’t remember when was the last time he thought of that question. I don’t know, he thought. He has been trying a bit, probably some more, on his own, but he isn’t sure if he can do it well. He tells himself that he should stay positive. He can give up everything to make that meeting right. Even the food or water could be given up now and then. There is no going back for him. Trying to remember when he was running gave him a lesson that he can rely on. Just few more steps and steps to go above the limit to make running better could be applied to this matter as well. He decided to stay patient thinking of the meeting only until it finally arrive to him.
She doesn’t act cute, but she is always cute when there is even no sign of emotion on her face. The cute and small girls seem to belong to another creature. She was like a smoke. It looks like she is there so I stretch my hand to touch it but it is not there. There is nothing. It is hard to figure out what she really is. A liar or a monster would be the words to describe her. My heart gets heavy just by thinking of her. When I happen to talk about her, I become a burden to myself. I make myself tired. I’ve been trying to forget her for way too long time. I’ve been suffering from her traces left on my eyes of view top side. I tortured myself. It feels to me that I can still see her. Just a feeling. Her voice would reach me in a blink of eyes. I used to find myself lying on my bed every night, hugging her figure which is non-existent, waiting for the phone to ring. But now I know how to stop myself right before where I feel myself heavy.
I can’t catch you. You are too fast. You make me want to catch you. Then you run away from me again. You laugh at me. I just want to be with you… I will just stand here to pretend I don’t care catching you. I really want to go follow you again but I try to be patient. How will you react? I’m worried that you might just leave. But I’m surprised that you come close to me. The girl who was running like a bunny is now standing next to me. I slowly stretch my arm to catch you. Your shoulder is soft and warm. You are not looking at me, but I know you are feeling me too. I caught you, so you are mine now.