You said you are not a girl who can love only one person. When I felt it was the last night that I can be with you, I wanted to drown myself in your eyes. Just close your eyes so I can kill you. I hope you don’t stop looking for someone you love. After I return to my life from you after that night, I cannot meet you anymore. But I want to spend the night with you again. Only the sadness left in me for meeting you accidentally. It seems you are coming close to me so I cannot stand it. If I could spend one more night with you, I want to give you all my love.
I know you are not mine. You belong to somebody you love. You tell me how good he is. You whisper how wonderful and cool person he is so I can feel how much you love him. It’s nothing for me. I wonder why you are telling me that but I will listen to you. I believe that you will love me as much as you love him. I know that the girls will stay away from me as much as they can when I say my love. Although I know it, I often wish you still recognize my heart for you. I’d like to trap myself in my fantasy and even enjoy my world, as if I don’t learn girls, being aware that you will get further away from me. But still, I just keep waiting for you in the endless rain.
I have never seen a girl with the eyes like you in my life. Look at my eyes with your beautiful eyes for a long time. Look close to my face. Then I will be able to feel your love. And gently smile for me. Sincerely smile for me. I’m asking you to love me. Always, smile like that for me and tell me you love me holding my hand. The reason I’m living in this world is your smile. Let’s travel around the world and find many joyful places. We will make memorable moments of our lives. Let’s see a lot of beautiful things you want to see. I will be next to you and take care of you.
The sincerity of your words and considerate manner of your obscured pretending touch my heart and remain in it for a long time. If only I could be that person to someone. My apathy. My awkwardness that I have been living with. My old wish. The place that I have left open. Refreshing rain by the cloud in hot summer sky pour on my dried heart. I want to become everything in the world for you. Just being with you like today is a huge pleasure that I can’t express. I wonder if you know that. We are young, but are we running out of time. We are slowly opening our heart to each other. Our story is not over yet. Sad things look beautiful. In this endless meeting of people, madly I ended up meeting you in this foreign land. Let’s go on a journey to the star of splendor.
She doesn’t act cute, but she is always cute when there is even no sign of emotion on her face. The cute and small girls seem to belong to another creature. She was like a smoke. It looks like she is there so I stretch my hand to touch it but it is not there. There is nothing. It is hard to figure out what she really is. A liar or a monster would be the words to describe her. My heart gets heavy just by thinking of her. When I happen to talk about her, I become a burden to myself. I make myself tired. I’ve been trying to forget her for way too long time. I’ve been suffering from her traces left on my eyes of view top side. I tortured myself. It feels to me that I can still see her. Just a feeling. Her voice would reach me in a blink of eyes. I used to find myself lying on my bed every night, hugging her figure which is non-existent, waiting for the phone to ring. But now I know how to stop myself right before where I feel myself heavy.
“They are too shy,” said the girl during interview in her first porn debut.